sarahx: (Default)
Bosnia & Herzegovina - Hari Mata Hari, Lejla A folk-y number that didn't float my boat in the semi and doesn't in the final either. Nice enough but makes good wallpaper.

Lithuania - LT United, We are the winners Well, it worked in the semi. They're back. It was silly first time around, and is silly again now. The Harry Hill dancing is more energetic than ever. There are worse songs than this in the contest...

UK - Daz Sampson, Teenage life Oh dear, oh dear. Makes me ashamed to be British. Crap rap with added schoolgirl squawking. Thank goodness everyone else in Europe hates us so we won't get many votes.

Greece - Anna Vissi, EverythingSlow ballad-y start into a Celine Dion-esque give-it-some-welly chorus. Not my cup of cha in the slightest. Didn't stop the crowd singing along. Hmmmmm.

Finland - Lordi, Hard rock Hallelujah This is what Eurovision needs - an injection of Finnish lunacy in the shape of the rubber-costumed death metallers. How he manages to balance on those foot-high platforms is beyond me. And I love that axe. Mad and dangerous indeed. VOTE LORDI!!

Ukraine - Tina Karol, Show me your love If this weren't an almost perfect carbon-copy of last year's Greek winning entry (with added false ending) this would be quite good. But it is. So it isn't.

France - Virginie Pouchain, Il était temps Shock horror, France has a ballad. Just for a change. I'm sure it's quite a nice one, but poor Virginie is out of tune. Is there something wrong with the artist feedback tonight? I'm sure there wasn't this much off-key warbling on Thursday.

Croatia - Severina, Moja Stikla Bird in red frock that looks like it should be doing flamenco, dancers in traditional dress, clearly meant to be a sing-along special. Aaaand what a surprise, it's bye-bye skirt. And a bit of arms-around-shoulders Greek-style dancing. Well, she looked like she was enjoying herself.

Ireland - Brian Kennedy, AAAAAAAARRRRRRRRGGGGGGGHHHHHHHHH Saints preserve us. That is all. More beer.........

Sweden - Carola Superannuated Carola first appeared in Eurovision in 1983. And won in 1991. And is getting on a bit. Didn't like this much on Thursday, still don't like it much. Bet she gets votes though.

Turkey - Sibel Tüzün, Superstar This was the one with the British backing dancers. Can't really think of anything to add; bouncy enough but not entirely memorable.

Armenia - André, Without your love Hoodie-boy is back. I have to disagree with [info]anw's semifinal take on this one - I actually quite like it. And those elastic bands in the dance routine are that strange thing - something in Eurovision I've not seen before. Those and Lordi, whatever next?!

And that is all. All that remains is to say....... VOTE LORDI!!!!!!!
sarahx: (sweep)
What could the Greeks come up with to top the pop-tastic Greek gods singing Eurovision winners intro of the semifinal?

A siren singing, a golden ball with wing-waving people stuck to the outside descending from the heavens, dolphins doing forward rolls and dancers in the sky.

And then the presenters flew in from the sky. Like you do. Then last year's winner got to reprise her triumphant bouncy poppy number, with dancers flying around the sky hanging from elastic bands.

Aaaaand here we go......

Switzerland - six4one, If we all give a little Never mind S Club 7, this multinational manufactured six-piece band was clearly cynically thrown together to attract as many votes as possible from the countries that supplied the singers. And the song was utter tosh. Three girls, three boys, taking it in turns to sing lines about love and peace and happiness and all that crap. Not even amusingly bad. Just pish.

Moldova - Arsenium and Natalia Gordienko, Loca What can the plucky Moldovans come up with after last year's triumph of Granny in her rocking chair? Well, the three boy - three girl combination was far better than the Swiss mess. The tinkly number didn't really go anywhere but was jolly enough. Natalia kept vanishing behind a sail-shaped screen and every time she reemerged part of her costume had vanished, until she came out for hte final time wearing what looked like a gold mini wedding dress.

Israel - Eddie Butler, Together we are one White-suited Eddie started off draped over a piano. Verse in Hebrew, chorus in English, cheesy MOR tosh. With the essential Eurovision key-change, of course, and some terrible sub-Mariah Carey wailing from one of the five similarly white-clad backing singers. He thinks he's Alexander O'Neal. But Alexander O'Neal can sing in tune. Our Eddie can't.

Latvia - Cosmos, I hear your heart Now here's a novelty. They forgot the band. Six boys in white suits, singing and percussing a capella, with added boy band dance moves. Different. And peculiar. What was the robot puppet that appeared at the end all about?

Norway - Christine Guldbrandsen, Alvedansen That's three in a row in white outfits now. Pretty blonde gir, with five pretty, and largely blonde, backing singers, two with violinists. Nice enough, but pretty unmemorable – a slow rocky ballady type affair. And the wind machine's back. I'm sure some of the entries I accidentally saw in their qualifying competition when I was in Norway in January were better than this!

Spain - Las Ketchup, Bloody Mary Ketchup by name, ketchup by outfit. Four birds wearing bright red shouty-sang (out of tune!) their way through a heavily choreographed routine with office chairs and a couple of ballet dancers in boots. Even that terrible ketchup song that infected the charts a couple of years back was better. Bag o' shite.

Malta - Fabrizio Faniello, I do What a strange looking boy. I think it's the eyebrows. It looks like he's got a serious monobrow but isn't very good at plucking them. Aaaaand.... it's cheesy upbeat Europop of the highest order, with the inevitable scantily clad birds prancing around behind him. His tuning wasn't brilliant, either. But he got the key-change in. And some fireworks. Well, he looked like he was enjoying himself, anyway.

Germany - Texas lightning, No no never Bloody hell, it's country & western. What's going on? Blonde fluffy pink-clad bird singing, with a four-piece band of blokes in stetsons – drummer, gee-tarrrr, double bass and banjo. Happy C&W? What's wrong with 'My boyfriend left me, there's a pain in my head, the weather is shocking and the dog is dead?' C&W should be miserable, however bouncy the music!

Denmark - Sidsel Ben Semmane, Twist of love Now this is quite fun. Sidsel and her four girly compatriots are dressed in gold, the tune is catchy, and the moves are good, even if their twist is all talk and no action. And the instrumental break involves a break-dancer. First one I've actually liked this evening.

Russia - Dima, Never let you go The first of the qualifiers to appear tonight. According to El Tel Wogan, Dima is a big sex symbol in eastern Europe. I can't quite see why. Maybe if he shaved that terrible mullet off he would be good looking, but it's rather difficult to see past it. Tonight he's written '10' on his vest (it was '13' on Thursday), so we don't forget what number he is and vote for him. He's found some proper numbers this time, and it doesn' t look like he scrawled it on with a marker pen during a last-minute trip to the bogs. That dancer in the piano is still bloody strange. But the song's not that bad.

FYR Macedonia - Elena Risteska, Ninanajna Such a long country name it takes up two lines on the scorecard. And it's that bird in a spangly red vest and micro-shorts again. The Kids from Fame are on form, but it sounds like she's singing in a different key from her backing band tonight. Not a good move.

Romania - Mihai Traistariu, Tornero The most blatent piece of Europop yet. Dig that electronic thunk-thunk backing tape. Young Mihai seems to have had an argument with a bleach bottle and he's gone ginger. Ick.Underneath all the vocal gymnastics he's probably a pretty good singer. Another Kids from Fame inspired bunch of dancers. Aaaaaand another rather super key-change. One day we'll get two in one song. Now that would be something to look forward to.

It's half-way through so I'll post this now and be back later with the rest.......
sarahx: (poshburd)
Now, where were we?!

Ukraine - Tina Karol, Show me your love And yes, what a surprise, it's another upbeat Eastern-influence number. MIcro white classical Grecian-style frock with boots that look like they've got Christmas trees on. The backing dancers are in a modern take on Cossack uniforms, with moves to match. Shaking a tambourine and her boobs aside, she didn't move much. Nice and bouncy,

Finland - Lordi, Hard rock Hallelujah Now this is the one I was waiting for. And I wasn't remotely disappointed. Ludicrous horror-style costumes, a death metal growl on top of sub-Rainbow thumping music, loads of pyrotechnics, and Lordi himself had the most astonishing platform boots that must have been a foot high, and those wings... Words fail me. The top hat emblazoned with the Finnish flag was a marvellous final touch that looked superbly out of place. As [ profile] stu_n is fond of saying, the Finns are mad and dangerous. Gets my vote!

Netherlands - Treble, Amambamba A three-piece poppy girlband, with bongos and an acoustic guitar. If they smiled any more their faces would crack. Some was in English, and the rest I suspect the rest was what they thought the Swahili equivalent of 'Boom bang-a-bang' might be.

Lithuania - LT United, We are the winners They walked up to the microphones looking for all the world like a six-piece version of G4 or Il Divo. And then started singing, 'We are the winners of Eurovision' and shamelessly pleading for votes in dodgy rock style. Well, at least they were up-front about it. Not so sure about the singing through a megaphone, or the bloke who seems to have taken dancing lessons from Harry Hill.

Portugal - Nonstop, Coisas de nada Oh heck. What dodgy costumes this four-piece girl band have been saddled with. Leotards with corsets and dangly skirt-y bits. Can't make up their mind whether to sing in English or Portuguese. And yet another forgettable up-tempo Europop special. Come back Girls Aloud, all is (almost) forgiven.

Sweden - Carola, Invincible Oooh, it's that bird who won in 1991, isn't it? And she's nicked the wind machine from the Belgian bird. Only she's got longer hair and started off with a 20-foot-long frock to wave in the breeze, with the help of her backing singers holding the corners.The skirt was dispensed with to reveal a rather unwise pair of gold trousers, and a lot of arm-waving. Celine Dion with a beat-box. Oh dear.

Estonia - Sandra, Through my window The opening riff was blatantly ripped off from Abba's 'Does your mother know'. Blonde bird in blue satin one-shouldered short frock and thigh-high boots. She looks Swedish. That's probably because she is. In fact, the whole entry looked much more like a Swedish one - Abba with dance moves. And it's much better than the official Swedish entry. I actually quite like this one.

Bosnia & Herzegovina - Hari Mata Hari, Lejla Jingly-jangly folky intro, more people dressed up like Greek statues, and a pleasant enough ballad in Bosnian whose tempo picks up as the song pootles along. Hardly earth-shattering, though.

Iceland - SIlvia Night, Congratulations A chorus of boos greeted her entrance (apparently she's been jokily slagging off the Greek organisation, or something). Apparently, she's an actress, and the whole thing is a pretence. She wore a very peculiar costume that wouldn't look out of place in the Moulin Rouge, with lots of glitter, and some very strange props on the stage, including a slide in the shape of a shoe, and showery-type things that looked like candy sticks, one of which had a telephone in it. And she lost half the costume towards the end. She's a bit squeaky in places. Most odd. But what do you expect from the country that brought us Bjork? Rounded off by more boos.

That's all for tonight. Just the voting to come. Finland, Slovenia and Estonia get my votes, with an honourable mention for Armenia. But what do I know?

Roll on Saturday night!
sarahx: (poshburd)
The intro number was everything Eurovision should be: tacky, OTT, and very, very silly. Twelve winners, stretching from Volare to Love shine a light, via Buck's Fizz, Brotherhood of Man, Dana International and, of course, Abba, from a troupe of singers and dancers dressed as characters from Greek history and mythology. Bit more of that on Saturday night would be a very Good Thing indeed.

Armenia - André, Without your love First ever entry for the Armenians. A very jolly tune, with an Eastern influence, reminiscent of the recent Ukrainian and Turkish winners. His backing dancers seem to have escaped from a bondage club, and he got rather tied up with black rubber. Super.

Bulgaria - Mariana Popova, Let me cry Pretty girl, nice gold frock, song's OK but fairly forgettable. Superbly camp fat blonde waily bloke doing crying stuff at the end while Mariana tries a bit too hard.

Slovenia - Anžej Dežan, Mr Nobody Started like a dull boy-band ballad, then turned into a fine piece of bouncy Euro-pop, with his well-endowed dancers draping themselves all over him. Despite being only 20, he has a super dodgy beard, looks like he's been taking style tips from [ profile] taikonaut... He is wearing the most fantastic boots that defy description. Smashing.

Andorra - Jennifer, Sense tu First song not in English: she went for the Spanish option. It's pretty power-ballad-y, with the regulation key change towards the end. Young Jenny is, let's face it, a little on the large side and wearing a too-tight black frock that does her no favours at all. But her backing dancers make up for it somewhat, clad as they are in white basques and suspenders.

Belarus - Polina Smolova, Mum Another going down the Ruslana route. Bouncy, rocky, very tight hotpants, and enthusiastic dancing from young NAME and her rather more covered-up dancers doing their best Kids from Fame impersonation. Apparently in English but I've got no idea what she's singing about.

Albania - Luiz Ejlli, Zjarr e Ftohtë If I'd no idea what Polina was singing about I stood no chance with young Luiz. He rather recklessly chose to sing in Albanian. Nice idea, shame the song was a paint-by-numbers Eurovision entry. Liked the two old guys in traditional dress, one with Albanian bagpipes, a fine contrast to the forgettable pretty boy singer (apparently a former Albanian Pop Idol winner) and his pretty boy backing singers. Nice enough but nothing special.

Belgium - Kate Ryan, Je t'adore Kate Ryan? Doesn't sound very Belgian to me. And the only bit in French was the title! Strange glowing microphone stands wielded by her three dancing boys in black and lots of wind machine. Horrible orange frock. Thoroughly dull upbeat Eurotrash stuff.

Ireland - Brian Kennedy, Every song is a cry for love Oh hell. It's Brian Kennedy. Aaaaaaaaaaarrrggghhhh. It could only be worse if it were Daniel O'Donnell. Nooooooooo. Schmaltzy ballad that yer mum would love. (Though mine wouldn't. She's got far better taste than that). Johnny Logan has a lot to answer for.

Cyprus - Annette Artani, Why angels cry Power-ballad crap. She needs to sack her stylist, though - it's a truly horrific frock. Yellow is never good, and it does absolutely nothing for her droopy boobs. She had a nice voice to start with, and then completely ruined it by trying to be Mariah Carey. Never a good move. Won't stop the Greeks giving her douze points though.

Monaco - Séverine Ferrer, Le CoCo-Dance I have no idea what a CoCo-Dance is, but it seems to involve girls in grass skirts and boys in sub-MC Hammer trousers (with no shirts, obviously). The music was ukulele-tastic. Shame she was singing flat. Ooops.

FYR Macedonia – Elena Risteska, Ninanajna We're back to the Eastern influenced upbeat formula with this one. She's in a spagly vest and very short cut off jeans, with more Kids from Fame backing dancers. Mostly Harmless.

Poland - Ich Troje, Follow my heart Tubby rapper in a cream suit, male singer in a rather OTT tasselled gold suit with a green wig, s female singer wearing a similarly strange tasselled costume with a rather ornate mask, and two more singers who appear to be statues. Most peculiar. Singing in Polish and English, rapping in English, what a mess. Nice Catherine wheels though.

Russia - Dima, Never let you go White vest, ripped jeans, cracking mullet, definitely a boyband reject. The purpose of the white grand piano on stage wasn't immediately obvious - until some bird done up like a Greek statue emerged from a hole in the lid and started scattering red petals all over the place. Very strange. Shame the song was pretty forgettable.

Turkey - Sibel Tüzün, Superstar English title to a song in Turkish. Nice frock, but not on her. Four beefcake black clad dancers who are, apparently, English. Very unwise speak-y bit in the middle. But then it got back on course with a rather smashing key-change.

Sod's law being what it is, there are too many things on at the same time tonight. The BB launch show is repeated at 7.15am, so that's all right. But the drama on BBC1 I've watched the first five parts of and House aren't repeated. So I'm going to have to go and sit in the kitchen and watch House in black & white (where I don't have BBC3), and come back and watch the rest off the Sky+ box afterwards.

Back in a bit. Can't wait for Lordi..........
sarahx: (chihuly)
It appears that Eurovision failure could affect the vote on the EU constitution in Holland. No, really.

That's taking it a little too seriously, methinks.
sarahx: (Default)
Ken Bruce on Radio 2 is starting his show with Buck's Fizz and Making your mind up. Broadcasting live from the Ukraine, no less. As has been the incomparable Wogan. I hope there's plenty more magnificent Eurovision songs to keep me going through the morning.

Am I very sad for loving Eurovision?

I should be working, but the Eurovision section from yesterday's Popbitch is much more interesting... Disappointingly, the very rubbish Irish entry lost in last night's semifinal (which I missed as I wasn' t back from Cambridge in time). I'm particularly looking forward to the Norwegian entry.

>> It's Eurovision time! <<
Must-watch TV for Saturday night

Our insiders in Kiev tell us that it's shaping
up to be the drunkest Eurovision one ever. Here's
Popbitch's guide to the runners and riders
of tonight's Semi-Final and Saturday's Final:

Greece - Helena Paparizou. The favourite.
Represented Greece as part of Antique,
with one of the best ever Eurovision songs
in 2001.

Belarus - Angelica. The Slavic J-Lo has been
swanning around Kiev with an enormous entourage,
four limousines and has hosted three parties.
$1m has been spent on getting Eurovision to Minsk.

Norway - Wig Wam. Pub glam rock. Their singer Glam
is leading the Eurovision shagging stakes. His
chat up line? "I like your boobies."

Moldova - Zdob si Zdub. One of Russian-speaking
pop's biggest bands. Their song Granny Bangs The
Drum is enlivened with the singer's granny on
stage... banging a drum.

Portugal - 2B. The singer fainted at the dress
rehearsal, which could be funny on the night.

Ireland - Donna and Joe McCaul. Hilariously
amateur teenage ginger siblings. Joe wins the
fans' prize as most unlikely party animal. The
Irish delegation have now imposed a curfew on him.
Watch their dancers fall over while River Dancing:


sarahx: (Default)

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