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May. 18th, 2006
Sarah blogs Eurovision, part 1
May. 18th, 2006 09:05 pmThe intro number was everything Eurovision should be: tacky, OTT, and very, very silly. Twelve winners, stretching from Volare to Love shine a light, via Buck's Fizz, Brotherhood of Man, Dana International and, of course, Abba, from a troupe of singers and dancers dressed as characters from Greek history and mythology. Bit more of that on Saturday night would be a very Good Thing indeed.
Armenia - André, Without your love First ever entry for the Armenians. A very jolly tune, with an Eastern influence, reminiscent of the recent Ukrainian and Turkish winners. His backing dancers seem to have escaped from a bondage club, and he got rather tied up with black rubber. Super.
Bulgaria - Mariana Popova, Let me cry Pretty girl, nice gold frock, song's OK but fairly forgettable. Superbly camp fat blonde waily bloke doing crying stuff at the end while Mariana tries a bit too hard.
Slovenia - Anžej Dežan, Mr Nobody Started like a dull boy-band ballad, then turned into a fine piece of bouncy Euro-pop, with his well-endowed dancers draping themselves all over him. Despite being only 20, he has a super dodgy beard, looks like he's been taking style tips from![[livejournal.com profile]](https://www.dreamwidth.org/img/external/lj-userinfo.gif)
taikonaut... He is wearing the most fantastic boots that defy description. Smashing.
Andorra - Jennifer, Sense tu First song not in English: she went for the Spanish option. It's pretty power-ballad-y, with the regulation key change towards the end. Young Jenny is, let's face it, a little on the large side and wearing a too-tight black frock that does her no favours at all. But her backing dancers make up for it somewhat, clad as they are in white basques and suspenders.
Belarus - Polina Smolova, Mum Another going down the Ruslana route. Bouncy, rocky, very tight hotpants, and enthusiastic dancing from young NAME and her rather more covered-up dancers doing their best Kids from Fame impersonation. Apparently in English but I've got no idea what she's singing about.
Albania - Luiz Ejlli, Zjarr e Ftohtë If I'd no idea what Polina was singing about I stood no chance with young Luiz. He rather recklessly chose to sing in Albanian. Nice idea, shame the song was a paint-by-numbers Eurovision entry. Liked the two old guys in traditional dress, one with Albanian bagpipes, a fine contrast to the forgettable pretty boy singer (apparently a former Albanian Pop Idol winner) and his pretty boy backing singers. Nice enough but nothing special.
Belgium - Kate Ryan, Je t'adore Kate Ryan? Doesn't sound very Belgian to me. And the only bit in French was the title! Strange glowing microphone stands wielded by her three dancing boys in black and lots of wind machine. Horrible orange frock. Thoroughly dull upbeat Eurotrash stuff.
Ireland - Brian Kennedy, Every song is a cry for love Oh hell. It's Brian Kennedy. Aaaaaaaaaaarrrggghhhh. It could only be worse if it were Daniel O'Donnell. Nooooooooo. Schmaltzy ballad that yer mum would love. (Though mine wouldn't. She's got far better taste than that). Johnny Logan has a lot to answer for.
Cyprus - Annette Artani, Why angels cry Power-ballad crap. She needs to sack her stylist, though - it's a truly horrific frock. Yellow is never good, and it does absolutely nothing for her droopy boobs. She had a nice voice to start with, and then completely ruined it by trying to be Mariah Carey. Never a good move. Won't stop the Greeks giving her douze points though.
Monaco - Séverine Ferrer, Le CoCo-Dance I have no idea what a CoCo-Dance is, but it seems to involve girls in grass skirts and boys in sub-MC Hammer trousers (with no shirts, obviously). The music was ukulele-tastic. Shame she was singing flat. Ooops.
FYR Macedonia – Elena Risteska, Ninanajna We're back to the Eastern influenced upbeat formula with this one. She's in a spagly vest and very short cut off jeans, with more Kids from Fame backing dancers. Mostly Harmless.
Poland - Ich Troje, Follow my heart Tubby rapper in a cream suit, male singer in a rather OTT tasselled gold suit with a green wig, s female singer wearing a similarly strange tasselled costume with a rather ornate mask, and two more singers who appear to be statues. Most peculiar. Singing in Polish and English, rapping in English, what a mess. Nice Catherine wheels though.
Russia - Dima, Never let you go White vest, ripped jeans, cracking mullet, definitely a boyband reject. The purpose of the white grand piano on stage wasn't immediately obvious - until some bird done up like a Greek statue emerged from a hole in the lid and started scattering red petals all over the place. Very strange. Shame the song was pretty forgettable.
Turkey - Sibel Tüzün, Superstar English title to a song in Turkish. Nice frock, but not on her. Four beefcake black clad dancers who are, apparently, English. Very unwise speak-y bit in the middle. But then it got back on course with a rather smashing key-change.
Sod's law being what it is, there are too many things on at the same time tonight. The BB launch show is repeated at 7.15am, so that's all right. But the drama on BBC1 I've watched the first five parts of and House aren't repeated. So I'm going to have to go and sit in the kitchen and watch House in black & white (where I don't have BBC3), and come back and watch the rest off the Sky+ box afterwards.
Back in a bit. Can't wait for Lordi..........
Armenia - André, Without your love First ever entry for the Armenians. A very jolly tune, with an Eastern influence, reminiscent of the recent Ukrainian and Turkish winners. His backing dancers seem to have escaped from a bondage club, and he got rather tied up with black rubber. Super.
Bulgaria - Mariana Popova, Let me cry Pretty girl, nice gold frock, song's OK but fairly forgettable. Superbly camp fat blonde waily bloke doing crying stuff at the end while Mariana tries a bit too hard.
Slovenia - Anžej Dežan, Mr Nobody Started like a dull boy-band ballad, then turned into a fine piece of bouncy Euro-pop, with his well-endowed dancers draping themselves all over him. Despite being only 20, he has a super dodgy beard, looks like he's been taking style tips from
taikonaut... He is wearing the most fantastic boots that defy description. Smashing.Andorra - Jennifer, Sense tu First song not in English: she went for the Spanish option. It's pretty power-ballad-y, with the regulation key change towards the end. Young Jenny is, let's face it, a little on the large side and wearing a too-tight black frock that does her no favours at all. But her backing dancers make up for it somewhat, clad as they are in white basques and suspenders.
Belarus - Polina Smolova, Mum Another going down the Ruslana route. Bouncy, rocky, very tight hotpants, and enthusiastic dancing from young NAME and her rather more covered-up dancers doing their best Kids from Fame impersonation. Apparently in English but I've got no idea what she's singing about.
Albania - Luiz Ejlli, Zjarr e Ftohtë If I'd no idea what Polina was singing about I stood no chance with young Luiz. He rather recklessly chose to sing in Albanian. Nice idea, shame the song was a paint-by-numbers Eurovision entry. Liked the two old guys in traditional dress, one with Albanian bagpipes, a fine contrast to the forgettable pretty boy singer (apparently a former Albanian Pop Idol winner) and his pretty boy backing singers. Nice enough but nothing special.
Belgium - Kate Ryan, Je t'adore Kate Ryan? Doesn't sound very Belgian to me. And the only bit in French was the title! Strange glowing microphone stands wielded by her three dancing boys in black and lots of wind machine. Horrible orange frock. Thoroughly dull upbeat Eurotrash stuff.
Ireland - Brian Kennedy, Every song is a cry for love Oh hell. It's Brian Kennedy. Aaaaaaaaaaarrrggghhhh. It could only be worse if it were Daniel O'Donnell. Nooooooooo. Schmaltzy ballad that yer mum would love. (Though mine wouldn't. She's got far better taste than that). Johnny Logan has a lot to answer for.
Cyprus - Annette Artani, Why angels cry Power-ballad crap. She needs to sack her stylist, though - it's a truly horrific frock. Yellow is never good, and it does absolutely nothing for her droopy boobs. She had a nice voice to start with, and then completely ruined it by trying to be Mariah Carey. Never a good move. Won't stop the Greeks giving her douze points though.
Monaco - Séverine Ferrer, Le CoCo-Dance I have no idea what a CoCo-Dance is, but it seems to involve girls in grass skirts and boys in sub-MC Hammer trousers (with no shirts, obviously). The music was ukulele-tastic. Shame she was singing flat. Ooops.
FYR Macedonia – Elena Risteska, Ninanajna We're back to the Eastern influenced upbeat formula with this one. She's in a spagly vest and very short cut off jeans, with more Kids from Fame backing dancers. Mostly Harmless.
Poland - Ich Troje, Follow my heart Tubby rapper in a cream suit, male singer in a rather OTT tasselled gold suit with a green wig, s female singer wearing a similarly strange tasselled costume with a rather ornate mask, and two more singers who appear to be statues. Most peculiar. Singing in Polish and English, rapping in English, what a mess. Nice Catherine wheels though.
Russia - Dima, Never let you go White vest, ripped jeans, cracking mullet, definitely a boyband reject. The purpose of the white grand piano on stage wasn't immediately obvious - until some bird done up like a Greek statue emerged from a hole in the lid and started scattering red petals all over the place. Very strange. Shame the song was pretty forgettable.
Turkey - Sibel Tüzün, Superstar English title to a song in Turkish. Nice frock, but not on her. Four beefcake black clad dancers who are, apparently, English. Very unwise speak-y bit in the middle. But then it got back on course with a rather smashing key-change.
Sod's law being what it is, there are too many things on at the same time tonight. The BB launch show is repeated at 7.15am, so that's all right. But the drama on BBC1 I've watched the first five parts of and House aren't repeated. So I'm going to have to go and sit in the kitchen and watch House in black & white (where I don't have BBC3), and come back and watch the rest off the Sky+ box afterwards.
Back in a bit. Can't wait for Lordi..........
Sarah blogs Eurovision - part 2
May. 18th, 2006 10:36 pmNow, where were we?!
Ukraine - Tina Karol, Show me your love And yes, what a surprise, it's another upbeat Eastern-influence number. MIcro white classical Grecian-style frock with boots that look like they've got Christmas trees on. The backing dancers are in a modern take on Cossack uniforms, with moves to match. Shaking a tambourine and her boobs aside, she didn't move much. Nice and bouncy,
Finland - Lordi, Hard rock Hallelujah Now this is the one I was waiting for. And I wasn't remotely disappointed. Ludicrous horror-style costumes, a death metal growl on top of sub-Rainbow thumping music, loads of pyrotechnics, and Lordi himself had the most astonishing platform boots that must have been a foot high, and those wings... Words fail me. The top hat emblazoned with the Finnish flag was a marvellous final touch that looked superbly out of place. Asstu_n is fond of saying, the Finns are mad and dangerous. Gets my vote!
Netherlands - Treble, Amambamba A three-piece poppy girlband, with bongos and an acoustic guitar. If they smiled any more their faces would crack. Some was in English, and the rest I suspect the rest was what they thought the Swahili equivalent of 'Boom bang-a-bang' might be.
Lithuania - LT United, We are the winners They walked up to the microphones looking for all the world like a six-piece version of G4 or Il Divo. And then started singing, 'We are the winners of Eurovision' and shamelessly pleading for votes in dodgy rock style. Well, at least they were up-front about it. Not so sure about the singing through a megaphone, or the bloke who seems to have taken dancing lessons from Harry Hill.
Portugal - Nonstop, Coisas de nada Oh heck. What dodgy costumes this four-piece girl band have been saddled with. Leotards with corsets and dangly skirt-y bits. Can't make up their mind whether to sing in English or Portuguese. And yet another forgettable up-tempo Europop special. Come back Girls Aloud, all is (almost) forgiven.
Sweden - Carola, Invincible Oooh, it's that bird who won in 1991, isn't it? And she's nicked the wind machine from the Belgian bird. Only she's got longer hair and started off with a 20-foot-long frock to wave in the breeze, with the help of her backing singers holding the corners.The skirt was dispensed with to reveal a rather unwise pair of gold trousers, and a lot of arm-waving. Celine Dion with a beat-box. Oh dear.
Estonia - Sandra, Through my window The opening riff was blatantly ripped off from Abba's 'Does your mother know'. Blonde bird in blue satin one-shouldered short frock and thigh-high boots. She looks Swedish. That's probably because she is. In fact, the whole entry looked much more like a Swedish one - Abba with dance moves. And it's much better than the official Swedish entry. I actually quite like this one.
Bosnia & Herzegovina - Hari Mata Hari, Lejla Jingly-jangly folky intro, more people dressed up like Greek statues, and a pleasant enough ballad in Bosnian whose tempo picks up as the song pootles along. Hardly earth-shattering, though.
Iceland - SIlvia Night, Congratulations A chorus of boos greeted her entrance (apparently she's been jokily slagging off the Greek organisation, or something). Apparently, she's an actress, and the whole thing is a pretence. She wore a very peculiar costume that wouldn't look out of place in the Moulin Rouge, with lots of glitter, and some very strange props on the stage, including a slide in the shape of a shoe, and showery-type things that looked like candy sticks, one of which had a telephone in it. And she lost half the costume towards the end. She's a bit squeaky in places. Most odd. But what do you expect from the country that brought us Bjork? Rounded off by more boos.
That's all for tonight. Just the voting to come. Finland, Slovenia and Estonia get my votes, with an honourable mention for Armenia. But what do I know?
Roll on Saturday night!
Ukraine - Tina Karol, Show me your love And yes, what a surprise, it's another upbeat Eastern-influence number. MIcro white classical Grecian-style frock with boots that look like they've got Christmas trees on. The backing dancers are in a modern take on Cossack uniforms, with moves to match. Shaking a tambourine and her boobs aside, she didn't move much. Nice and bouncy,
Finland - Lordi, Hard rock Hallelujah Now this is the one I was waiting for. And I wasn't remotely disappointed. Ludicrous horror-style costumes, a death metal growl on top of sub-Rainbow thumping music, loads of pyrotechnics, and Lordi himself had the most astonishing platform boots that must have been a foot high, and those wings... Words fail me. The top hat emblazoned with the Finnish flag was a marvellous final touch that looked superbly out of place. As
stu_n is fond of saying, the Finns are mad and dangerous. Gets my vote!Netherlands - Treble, Amambamba A three-piece poppy girlband, with bongos and an acoustic guitar. If they smiled any more their faces would crack. Some was in English, and the rest I suspect the rest was what they thought the Swahili equivalent of 'Boom bang-a-bang' might be.
Lithuania - LT United, We are the winners They walked up to the microphones looking for all the world like a six-piece version of G4 or Il Divo. And then started singing, 'We are the winners of Eurovision' and shamelessly pleading for votes in dodgy rock style. Well, at least they were up-front about it. Not so sure about the singing through a megaphone, or the bloke who seems to have taken dancing lessons from Harry Hill.
Portugal - Nonstop, Coisas de nada Oh heck. What dodgy costumes this four-piece girl band have been saddled with. Leotards with corsets and dangly skirt-y bits. Can't make up their mind whether to sing in English or Portuguese. And yet another forgettable up-tempo Europop special. Come back Girls Aloud, all is (almost) forgiven.
Sweden - Carola, Invincible Oooh, it's that bird who won in 1991, isn't it? And she's nicked the wind machine from the Belgian bird. Only she's got longer hair and started off with a 20-foot-long frock to wave in the breeze, with the help of her backing singers holding the corners.The skirt was dispensed with to reveal a rather unwise pair of gold trousers, and a lot of arm-waving. Celine Dion with a beat-box. Oh dear.
Estonia - Sandra, Through my window The opening riff was blatantly ripped off from Abba's 'Does your mother know'. Blonde bird in blue satin one-shouldered short frock and thigh-high boots. She looks Swedish. That's probably because she is. In fact, the whole entry looked much more like a Swedish one - Abba with dance moves. And it's much better than the official Swedish entry. I actually quite like this one.
Bosnia & Herzegovina - Hari Mata Hari, Lejla Jingly-jangly folky intro, more people dressed up like Greek statues, and a pleasant enough ballad in Bosnian whose tempo picks up as the song pootles along. Hardly earth-shattering, though.
Iceland - SIlvia Night, Congratulations A chorus of boos greeted her entrance (apparently she's been jokily slagging off the Greek organisation, or something). Apparently, she's an actress, and the whole thing is a pretence. She wore a very peculiar costume that wouldn't look out of place in the Moulin Rouge, with lots of glitter, and some very strange props on the stage, including a slide in the shape of a shoe, and showery-type things that looked like candy sticks, one of which had a telephone in it. And she lost half the costume towards the end. She's a bit squeaky in places. Most odd. But what do you expect from the country that brought us Bjork? Rounded off by more boos.
That's all for tonight. Just the voting to come. Finland, Slovenia and Estonia get my votes, with an honourable mention for Armenia. But what do I know?
Roll on Saturday night!