sarahx | Entries tagged with toiletsurvey

Sheffield U****d 1 Sheffield Wednesday 0, 3 December 2005

The away end at ~~Bramall~~ Pig Lane, frankly, needs demolishing and rebuilding. (In fact, the whole ground does, a supermarket would be a much better use of the land). But anyway. I arrived reasonably early, and the 'concourse' area is so cramped it was already heaving. Injured Wednesday players JP McGovern and Lee Bullen were both there, too - they were hiding under woolly hats, but club captain Bullen had had a few barley-pops and was starting off the singing. Nice to see players mingling with the fans - they'd done the same at Stoke. They could have sat in the directors' box, but much preferred to sit with the 'real' people. Here's a blurry one of Bullen boozing...

It pains me to say anything nice about Pig Lane, but there were plenty of loos - two sets of eight.

However, even pre-match there were substantial puddles around.

There was loo roll, but the whole ambience was far too red.

Rating: -4/10. I had to add a bonus -10 points just for where it is.

Current Mood: bored

Watford 2 Sheffield Wednesday 1

Surprise, surprise - another defeat. And another game of two halves: a shocking first one, and we were much better in the second. Ho hum. Their first goal had more than a hint of handball about it, their second resulted from an error from our goalie, and ours, just before the end, was a complete comedy goalkeeping moment - he tipped it into the net for us. Most generous.

Pretty sunset, though!

Anyway, to the more important matters: the toilets. And oh dear, oh dear. For a not-that-old stand, they were shocking. Three cubicles crammed into a tiny room, with no room for the inevitable queue. Or any room to take a photo showing how cramped it was!

And once inside them - ick. No seat, shocking puddles being soaked up by sheets of newspaper, no loo roll 10 minutes before half time. There was also a queue then - and half-an-hour before kick-off - both times at which one wouldn't normally expect to have to wait for very long, if at all. Three cubicles for nearly 3000 away fans is woefully inadequate.

Score: 3.5/10. Very poor indeed.

Current Mood: contemplative

Atletico Madrid 1 Villareal 1, 30 October 2005

Yes, I freely admit, I'm a sad football obsessive. I'm working in Madrid Tuesday to Thursday this week so, obviously, I came out a couple of days early to get a match in.

Atletico's Vicente Calderón stadium is, apparently, going to be demolished next year and replaced with a flash new state-of-the-art affair. Here's hoping the loos improve in the new one. It was also largely uncovered - thank goodness for the Gore-tex waterproof and the brolly as it was tipping down. Oh, and there was loads of graffiti of the deeply unnecessary antisemitic variety. Hmmmm.

Atletico scored early on, and Villareal equalised deep into injury time, in about the 93rd minute. There was plenty of hand-wringing in the Madrid sports papers today!

Anyway, the loos. Oh dear, oh dear. Admittedly, there weren't that many women there. But still. There was one - yes, one - cubicle for several thousand fans.

It was battered. And not entirely clean.

And the entrance area was chock-full of mops and buckets. And the light turned itself off after about 10 seconds. There was loo roll, but that's about all it had going for it.

Rating: 3/10. To think they consider themselves one of Europe's big teams...

Current Mood: relaxed

Norwich City 0 Sheffield Wednesday 1, 29 October 2005

In our previous three matches, we've gone 1-0 up and let in a late equaliser. Amazingly, this time we went 1-0 up and somehow managed to hang on to win. A win that drags us out of the relegation zone. Albeit temporarily.

The stand that houses the away fans has been rebuilt since our last visit to Carrow Road three years ago. And toilet-wise, it's pretty impressive. There were seven cubicles in the ladies' loos - five next to each other, as pictured here, plus another at each end.

While it was overwhelmingly grey, seven cubicles was pretty impressive, and they were reasonably clean with lots of loo roll.

At half-time, I discovered that they were numerically even more impressive: there was a second, identical set of loos. That makes 14 cubicles for an away end that holds around 1,400. Well done, Norwich. Bet Delia had a hand in that!

Rating: 9/10. Astounding quantity requires an astounding score.

Current Mood: relaxed

The basement of the Casino at the Palais de la Méditerranée hotel, Nice

Yes, OK, so posh hotels are something of a departure from the normal sporting venues, but these toilets were far too extraordinary to ignore.

How glad am I that I didn't have a hangover? The absence of flash doesn't even remotely do justice to how terrifyingly bright orange it was. That's me in the mirror...

And the loos were as shiny and lovely as one would expect in a five-star hotel.

I should also report that the gents' were a much more subtle turquoise and lemon!

Score: 8.5/10. Loses half a point each for the absence of tissues and hand lotion, and only having hot-air hand dryers! It's another world from the football ground...

Current Mood: tired

Crystal Palace 2, Sheffield Wednesday 0

Bit late with this, toilet fans. But better late than never.

The Palace match was actually on Tuesday 27th September. And we weren't as bad as the scoreline suggested - Palace were rather jammy with the goals. If we had as much good luck as we had bad, then we'd be soaring up the table...

Anyway, pre-match beer was (as is normal at Selhurst Park) the highlight of the evening. Good to see

philaylen and

thecesspit in there!

The toilets at Selhurst Park don't seem to have changed much over the past decade. They're just past the turnstiles, at the top of the steps before you head down to the stand, so there's plenty of space, and so there's plenty of room loads of loos. And sure enough - there are eight of them. And I've never seen a queue there.

The toilets themselves are a bit old and battered, but were reasonably clean and there was loads of loo roll.

Sinks at either end, bit littered, and this shot rather shows that the floor needs a bit of attention.

Score: 7.5/10. A high score because of the total absence of queues and their general adequacy.

Current Mood: tired

Luton Town 2 Sheffield Wednesday 2

Remarkably, it was back to the 'good' Sheffield Wednesday, after last Saturday's depressing reversion to type against Millwall. Though when the first Luton goal went in after about a minute, you could have been forgiven for thinking it was going to be another miserable night. The final score was probably fair - and we were off the bottom of the table, at least for about 19 hours. And the great British Sky-watching public got to watch something less pointless than our recent 0-0 at QPR.

There's a good bet that Kenilworth Road will be the worst ground we go to this season. The only contender for the prize in the league is Cardiff's Ninian Park (one of the three 'new' grounds for me this season, along with Coventry and Southampton, whose replacement grounds we've not played at yet).

The Luton ground is pretty surreal. The turnstiles are between terraced houses - with people's bedrooms immediately above them. Then it's through the under-house tunnel, up a fire escape, and that's the away stand. ( Imagine having that in your back yard. )

It's not a very comfortable stand to sit in. They merely put a row of seats on every other concrete step of the old terrace, leaving no room for the legs of anyone taller than about 5'4". Sitting sideways was the only way.

The ladies' is underneath the houses. There are three cubicles, and even before the match started there were large puddles on the floor.

The loos were reasonably clean - the puddles aside - and had clearly had a coat of paint over the summer. Abundant quantities of loo roll, too.

( However, the window was broken - and had been carefully painted over. )

( They did score a Brucie-bonus point for having acquired a couple of Portaloos )

Score: 5 out of 10. Not as bad as it could have been...

edited to add: Just remembered the loos in the pub near the station - two cubicles, big poster of Brad Pitt in one, and Johnny Depp in the other. Now that's how to decorate a loo!

Current Mood: lazy

Saturday 10 September: Leicester City 2 Sheffield Wednesday 0

Leicester City's new(ish) Walkers Stadium is another identikit modern bowl of a stadium. Nice enough, but nothing special. The match was shocking: we let in two goals in the first 10 minutes and never really looked like we were going to score.

It was also another fine example of breeze block chic in the toilets. The walls didn't reach the ceiling, so the conversation in the gents' next door was all too audible. There were four cubicles, but it wasn't the only set of loos so, while there were half time queues, they weren't too hideous. Strangely, despite the fact their colours are blue and white, the partitions were grey and green.

The loos themselves were fine, a little untidy but clean enough and there was plenty of loo roll.

Rating: 7/10. Perfectly adequate, though would have been better if we'd not been able to hear the nonsense being talked in the gents'!

Current Mood: amused

Wednesday live on Sky on a Friday night has to mean a crap match. And, sure enough, it was.

Our luck with pre-Loftus Road pubs was maintained: the O'Neill's we'd arranged to meet in was closed for refurbishment. So we ended up in the Walkabout up the road. Though admittedly an Aussie pub is certainly a good place to be on the rare occasions England are beating Australia.

The match ended up as a 0-0 draw, and neither team looked like scoring. And we picked up three more injuries. To say we've been unlucky with injuries recently would be something of an understatement. Crap match, crap team, normal service is resumed on the Wednesday front. At least it was another point.

On to the toilets. Oh dear, oh dear. In a stand that seats maybe a couple of thousand fans, there were precisely two cubicles in the ladies' loo. Looked like three: but no, the third was the cleaners' cupboard. And to compound the insult, they'd forgotten to switch the light on. The light from the corridor made its way over the open breeze block wall, so the first cubicle at least got a little light.

However, even with the phone set in 'night' mode, it was rather difficult to get a shot that actually showed how few cubicles there were!

The queues at half time were prodigious, with my friend Janine only just getting back in time for the start of the second half after spending quarter of an hour in the queue to get to the dark loos. Someone appeared to have found the light switch at some point after half time, hence this shot, but it was too little, too late for a decent score.

Score: 4/10. They picked up some points because the cubicles were reasonably clean and there was loo roll, but lose many more because of the darkness and the woeful lack of cubicles.

Two toilet surveys for the price of one this morning!

Ipswich was always going to be a difficult match for us to win - we were promoted by the skin of our teeth through the play-offs, having finished fifth last season. They'd been in the play-offs too, failing to win promotion to the Premiership thanks to their customary inability to win in the semi-final. Although a number of their players have indeed moved on upwards, it was still going to be hard for us to get much from this game. And so it proved. Ipswich took the lead inside the first 10 minutes, a lead that was doubled 20 minutes from time. We did manage to pull back a consolation goal, thanks to Lee Peacock's mohicaned bonce somehow managing to get on the end of a corner. But it was too late.

However, in the second half it we managed to play the best football I've seen from Wednesday since last season, particularly after Sturrock made a triple substitution. It may be normal service resumed on the league position front - we're back in the relegation zone, hurrah! - but if we can manage to play like this we'll certainly start to pick up points.

The away fans are housed at one end of the stand facing the main stand, which is beginning to age. It clearly used to be a terrace, and they evidently went for the cheapskate option of squeezing the seats onto the existing concrete, which leaves no room to put such luxuries as your legs.

The age of the stand is also evidenced by the paucity of loos. Just three cubicles for a couple of thousand away fans - many of whom these days are female. It wouldn't cost a great deal to improve the situation here if a little intelligence were applied to it. You open the door, and you're faced with this long, tiled corridor.

Turn the corner at the end, and there's the cubicles. Just the three. Take out that wall, make the corridor part of the room, and bingo, there's room for at least half-a-dozen.

The cubicles were reasonably clean, and the loo roll was abundant.

As ever, I sneaked out to the loo before half time (you'd be amazed how many goals I've made us score by going to the loo) and missed the queues. I dread to think how long I'd've had to wait if I'd hung on.

Rating: 6/10. Clean but loses points because there aren't enough - and there's the space to fix that.

Current Mood: busy

I've just about recovered from the excitement of the third Test in Manchester last weekend. And it looks like the toilet survey needs to be extended from football grounds to sporting venues in general.

There don't seem to be sufficient loos at Old Trafford - the queues snaking outside the gents' at lunchtime were prodigious. They're obviously aware of this as they'd brought in a lot of green portable cubicles to try and alleviate the problem.

However, I know the ground well enough to know that there's a ladies' loo underneath the pavilion where the queues are usually much shorter. It's very dark down there - though the tunnel's by far the warmest place to hide when it's cold and the cricket's been rained off (and my friend Fiona and I managed to inhale two bottles of champagne by mid-day down there on the Friday of last year's Test when it rained all day and we saw no cricket).

The loo is similarly dark, added to by the decor which echoes Lancashire's Sunday cricket pyjama colours of red and blue. However, there are plentiful cubicles, four on one side and five on the other. This picture doesn't do justice to the darkness of the walls - those behind me and to my right in this shot are tiled in the same deep red and dark blue. If they'd made the doors dark too then it would have felt like a goth palace. Or at least somewhere more suited to the Brides of Dracula.

The cubicles themselves were more than adequate - clean and plenty of loo roll.

Rating: 8/10. That original decor was a definite plus.

Current Mood: busy

Stoke City 0 Sheffield Wednesday 0.

My fourth 0-0 draw in five games since our play-off glory in Cardiff. Gah.

I wasn't remotely surprised not to see any goals, even though Stoke were down to 10 men after about 10 minutes thanks to a particularly evil tackle by Gerry Taggart, the agricultural ageing Northern Irish defender who scored twice for Leicester against us a few years back. At least he wasn't on the pitch long enough to give us a repeat performance.

The Britannia Stadium is one of the breed of modern grounds built in the middle of nowhere. This means there's nowhere sensible to drink within easy reach of the ground (the Harvester, clearly, doesn't count). So beer (Marston's Pedigree) and pie (steak & kidney - though it seemed to be all kidney!) was consumed in a 300-year-old establishment a three-mile taxi ride away.

Our taxi driver was Indian, and said he used to go to games but hasn't been in over a decade. He said the final straw was a cup game against Liverpool, and he was getting so much racist abuse from his fellow Stoke City fans on the way to the ground that a group of Liverpool fans took pity on him and he went and sat with them at the away end instead. He's not been to a match since.

Anyway, the ground itself is nothing special: it's pretty utilitarian, but there is at least a large concourse under the away stand that sells beer. In the absence of a pub, they were doing a roaring trade when we got there 15 minutes before kick-off.

The toilets were OK. Breeze block walls, in standard stadium style, and red doors. There were half-a-dozen cubicles, which proved insufficient to prevent 10 minute half-time queues. That bin was nearly overflowing by half time.

The cubicles, again, were reasonably clean. This picture was taken pre-match, and they were still reasonably clean at half time, but the loo roll had run out by then.

Rating: 6/10. Clean enough, but not enough cubicles or loo roll to warrant a higher score.

Current Mood: tired

In a fit of insanity, I renewed my away season ticket. So I'll be visiting lots of rubbish football grounds this year (and one or two quite nice ones).

And I feel a toilet survey coming on. Of the ladies' loos in the away end, of course. With mobile phone pictures for added colour.

Part 1: Mansfield Town.

A symphony of breeze blocks and concrete. Reasonably new, as away stands at fourth division grounds go. And, in context, not too mucky. Nice puddle on the floor - but it was raining very hard and I think it was a leak rather than anything more pungent.

There were 10 cubicles, which is well above average. Not all the external walls reached the roof so the numpty conversation of the pair of stewards who were standing outside in the rain was rather louder than it needed to be.

The cubicle doors were painted alternately yellow and blue (Mansfield club colours), which was a nice touch.

A little damp in the cubicle itself, but the loo paper was nice and soft, and I'd like to think that (at least most) of the dampness was rain related.